Exorcising and exercising…


Loners often get a bum rap.  Accused of being anti-social and conceited it’s easy enough for them to retreat even further into their own little world.  Some retreat into a lonely place feeling misunderstood, twirling around in a downward spiral like a whirlpool in the middle of the ocean.  Others retreat into a different place- a solidarity of heart and soul that, unlike the whirlpool, lifts their being above the fray.  Then there are the loners who are stuck somewhere in between those opposite ends.  With a toe dipped in each pool, they tip this way and that dancing on the edges of disaster and bliss.

I am a loner type and used to profess that “I could be a happy hermit!”.  I even believed myself when I said it.   That’s because I’ve always been more of a loner with the solidarity vibe going on.  I never retreated out of pain and suffering or self esteem issues.  I retreated on purpose because much of what I saw in the world, even at a young age, just didn’t make sense.  Why fight it- just retreat.

I have, however,  felt the pull of that lonely spiral at times- tugging and whispering in my mind to “Come join us down here, the lonely, the downtrodden.  We will embrace you…”.  It is a powerful force.  It is a force that can bust through walls and steal you like a thief in the night.  Luckily, I have always been able to escape it’s icy clutches no matter how warm and cozy it pretends to be.  Some call that evil.  I do not.  I call it easy.  And like the old saying goes… if it’s easy it ain’t worth doin’.

That’s right, I’m exorcising a demon here by exercising my spirit.  I could still be a happy little hermit, but I do get oh so tired of myself.  I’ve learned about all I could teach myself, I think.  I still, after all these years, have an inquisitive mind.  I want to know more and the only way I can find out is to stick my neck out here.

Things still don’t make sense, but in an entirely different way than when I was younger.  Perception is nine tenths of the natural law :^)


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